Tag Archives: health

Random Thoughts and Sleep Deprivation

I am running on zero minutes of sleep. No, seriously, I’m not even exaggerating. I haven’t closed my eyes in two days.

And you know what, I feel OK. Granted, I just ate a tasty wrap-thang and walked through the crisp air, hearing the Hare Krishnas sing their praises on the plaza. But overall, I don’t want to crawl in the hole and cry myself to sleep.

This comes to the point of my delirious chatting: Human beings are freakin’ resilient.  I mean, I am not even a good example, but I worked all day yesterday, all through the night and morning, presented a serious paper for Medical Anthropology, listened to a bunch of boring presentations without passing out, talked to a teacher without making a complete arss out of myself, and now I sit here in class typing away like a diligent little girl, AND I found time between all that to brush my teeth, wash my face, and apply mascara (haha). Awesome!

I know in about fifteen minutes I’ll start yawning and cursing the gods for my terrible academic habits, but for right now I want to sing my own praises.

Humans have overcome all sorts of obstacles with much less going for them than I.  We built a spaceship that rocketed to the moon!  We know how to cut people open, remove guts, and then sew them back together!  We survive in the Arctic circle with hardly more than a gas stove, long johns, and a fishing pole (don’t quote me on that)!  Humans defeat obstacles with terrible odds, and for that, I can say “rubba dub dub, Yay Humans“!  Sure, we’re nasty brutes who kill and rape and pillage the Earth and our fellow apes, but here we are, a product of all sorts of random and sweet natural selection who can stay up for days and still be somewhat comprehensible! Yay!

Although I abuse my body for four weeks out of every year (two weeks a semester at finals time), I’m appreciative of our physical freedom to do so.  And dammit, I’m proud of myself for pushing to excel at this school endeavor, despite my occasional slacking-off and inexcusable procrastination.

Anyone and everyone who has ever stayed up all night and resisted the temptation to just say F**K IT ALL, Cheers! Let’s be resilient, prove our selves wrong, and kick some a*s!!!

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No answer to suffering

I thought I’d ask the age old question: Why do we suffer?

This question came to me tonight after talking with a friend who’s recently lost his mother to cancer, who’s father is a survivor of cancer, and whose uncle is slowly dying from cancer as well.  They were all healthy, good people.

My friend is struggling for meaning in his life, for hope, for the energy to cope with the pain that’s been unceasing the past few years.  He simply cannot comprehend why this tragedy has struck his family, and it’s lead to his declaration of atheism and his overall indifference toward the joys of life.

My friend is a good man, in no way deserving of this pain, of these hopeless circumstances.

People have struggled with the problem of suffering for thousands of years.  Hindus credit it to bad past lives, to Christians it’s the ultimate mystery.  If God is so great, why is there so much pain? So much doubt? So much terribleness?

I, for one, have no idea, and will never claim to have the answer. It’s plaguing me this evening though, and I wish I had something better to say to comfort my friend.

I know that one should treasure life and live each day to the fullest, yada yada yada, but that’s not good enough. Not when so many people feel their mortality approaching faster with every breath.

Why is there so much pain? Why are entire families wiped out by this silent, painful killer?

How can one remain hopeful when so much despair looms in every facet of their life? How can one confront and challenge such despair?

All I know to do is, hold on. Hold on and surround yourself with goodness. And breath.

We don’t know why life can be so egregious, but I do know that if we still have breath, we should savor it, take it in deeply, and feel it.

Hold on.

A line from a script I read in theatre camp went something like this,

“Life is like a swing. It goes up, down, back, forth. We can just hold on and wait for life to swing back up, that there will always be highs and lows and they are in constant flux.  Hold on to the swing.  Hold on. ”  

 

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How to be depressed

These past couple weeks I’ve been feeling quite depressed for no specific reason at all. I’ve been irritable with friends and generally impossible to please.  As a result, I’ve decided to compile a list of a few things that will teach you how to be depressed and cranky just like me.

1.  Drink a bottle of wine to yourself and watch a heartbreaking romance movie.

Not only will the wine make you feel loopy and completely alone, the movie will make you cry and sob your heart out over the lost love, the high school sweetheart, or the imaginary boyfriend waiting outside your front door that never shows up. Guarantees a headache, puffy eyes, and malaise for the entirety of the following day.

2.  Quit every healthy regime you’ve worked hard to implement into your life.

Screw going to the gym three times a week.  And chose the hamburger over the salad.  Skip the vitamins, skip the fresh air for a strong cigarette.  Drink multiple kinds of liquor in an evening at the bar. Forget showering and brushing your teeth.  Bask in filthy clothes and beer breath. Don’t get out of bed for anything.

3.  Harbor resentment.

Let every little thing that annoys you fester inside until your blood is boiling and you’re imagining great insults to spew at the unlucky roommate who doesn’t rinse their dish.  Dig up old drama with a friend and insist on always being right.  Bitch about everything and everyone who isn’t perfect just like you.  Read old diaries to stir up anger from years ago.  Blame parents, friends, ex-boyfriends for your piss-poor mood.

4.  Look at everyone else’s pictures online and see how much fun they’re having and how happy everyone is but you.

Your ex has a beautiful new girlfriend and they’re getting engaged! Yay!  Your girl friend went to a party without you and obviously had such a great time.  That one friend has lost weight and is so cute in her pretty little dress.  I wanted to buy that dress but it didn’t fit me…

5.  Don’t make any effort whatsoever to cheer up or engage with humanity whatsoever.

Don’t go out. Don’t even go upstairs to fry an egg. Stay right there on the couch or the bed and eat those cheetos. Don’t shower or put on a cute shirt. Whatever you do, do not accept an invitation to grab beers at a once-favorite brewery. Don’t even answer your phone. Don’t look at movie times. Going to the movies is your favorite thing so don’t even consider it.

6.  Do not investigate your sadness or express your sadness in a healthy way.

Don’t write a poem, don’t paint, don’t journal, don’t dance, don’t exercise. Don’t call a friend for comfort.  Don’t express any angst effectively. Complain, whine, and bitch, please.

There you have it. This is a preliminary list of things to do/not do to continue being a bitchy little victim of the evil forces in the universe. Now wipe off that smile and start crying, dammit!

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Dogs and Life

Today at the dog park my pup was injured.  He was slammed against a cement cylinder whilst running full-speed chasing one of his girlfriends.  I rushed him to the vet, who determined he either got a bad sprain or a slight tear in the dog equivalent of the ACL.

I’m ridiculously relieved that my pup didn’t fracture his hip or knee, and as he lays here next to me I’m grateful to have the resources and the heart to rush to him the vet for help.

With the stress and cost of the veterinary medicine I’m taught what a serious responsibility it is caring for another life.  This lesson is a harsh reality check but it’s made me more realistic and responsible in regards to serious matters of health and well being of others.    Without the experiences of caring for the many dogs, cats, rats, and sugar gliders that I’ve fostered at different times, I would not be nearly as conscientious of the emotional, physical, and financial commitments of being a caregiver.

I am a very maternal young woman.  I gain a unique satisfaction and love for the world when caring for animals or even people.  I believe many women get similar maternal urges when they get to their early or mid-twenties, and several women choose to get pregnant and start a family as a result.  I know a handful of women who have done just this, and that’s awesome for them.

Through the many experiences of taking animals to the vet, paying vet bills, dealing with dog-sitting, dealing with troublesome animals, worrying, feeding, loving all these creatures, I’ve learned the serious nature of being wholly responsible for another life.

For this reason, I’m waiting until I have money, education, and time to make human babies.  I want to have a child or two, but I understand how much of a commitment it can be.  If my kid has an attitude problem I can’t take him back to the pound.  If they get sick it’s horribly worrying and expensive, and we can’t just euthanize the poor bastards like many pet owners chose to do today.

I think it’s great that many women have found security enough to start a family, but I am not ready.

My heart pounded and I had to swallow tears because my pup injured his leg, and the vet put me out almost two hundred dollars.  If I didn’t have the money, or if I didn’t have a car or nerves, I would have been totally screwed.

It’s hard for me to imagine having a little darling baby, so fragile and precious, who may need health care right off the bat.  Not too mention clothes, diapers, education, food, housing…

Babies are no picnic!

I’m thankful to understand the seriousness of caring for another life and to have had so many wonderful animals to teach me this lesson.

I’m happy taking care of my doggie and taking him to the vet, and as a result I’m waiting quite a while to have a child.

Bernard, my love

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A question concerning food and culture in America

Last semester I took an Archaeology course and my professor brought in some roots that Native Americans used to subsist on in the Spring months.  I can’t recall the name of the root, but I remember looking at it, traces of dirt remain, and it smelled of Earth.  It was the most natural thing I had held in years, but it felt so foreign. This came straight from the ground, how WEIRD.  No fertilizers helped this grow…how odd.  It was moist, bitter and Earthy.  Full-bodied and crunchy, I had to have another.  This was the natural way of things, I remember thinking to myself.  How often do people pluck their own vegetables and eat them straight out of the dirt?  This is how it should be done. Why is the concept of natural food so distant to society?

 

I’m still reading The One-Straw Revolution by Masanobu Fukuoka, and it’s becoming increasingly challenging and illuminating.  While reading late last night, I came to a passage that shocked me and had me wondering about culture, food, and the connection between the two well into this afternoon.  After all, I study cultural anthropology and religion, so this debate had me quite puzzled, in a good way.  This is the passage that rattled me and had me examining my own values and those of the United States.

“Culture is usually thought of as something created, maintained, and developed by humanity’s efforts alone.  But culture always originates in the partnership of man and nature.  When the union of human society and nature is realized, culture takes shape of itself.  Culture has always been closely connected with daily life, and so has been passed on to future generations, and has been preserved up to the present time.”

I understand this, and agree. Culture is a product of people and nature coming together and learning and growing together.

Fukuoka is discussing culture in relation to agricultural production and consumption, and he goes on,

“Something born from human pride and the quest for pleasure cannot be considered true culture.  True culture is born within nature, and is simple, humble, and pure.”

This is where I stop, reread, and think.  When I consider agriculture in the U.S. today, which is based upon large yields and high production.  Where we use massive amounts of pesticides and fertilizers that are a horrible detriment to our environments, where we pump our produce full of coloring agents and preservatives, where we throw out about half our crop because it is not the ideal fruit or vegetable, it has me wondering, is there anything natural to our food?  Even our meats and milks are pumped full of hormones and additives.  Agriculture today is not natural, simple, humble, and certainly not pure.

Our food is based on more, more, more, no matter the cost.  There is no humility. It is a blatant disrespect to nature in many regards.  We poison our bodies and our Earth for the sake of monetary profits.

If Fukuoka is right, that TRUE culture is born within nature, than the United States could be said to not have a TRUE nature.

In the land of McDonald’s and Taco Bell, where the food is ridiculously processed,  Applebees where half of what’s cooked is frozen and then microwaved, where hunks of beef brought from a slaughter house is considered normal, do we really have a pure culture?  What is American culture, anyway?

 

In the context of food, what is the typical, cultural, American cuisine? First thing to my mind was a cheeseburger and fries.  The burger is probably heavily processed and contains hormones and additives applied to add flavor and longevity.  These additives are needed because the cow from whence the burger came was raised in a dark and filthy industrial center, where it was pumped full of antibiotics to keep it from dying due to its unnatural diet.  The wheat of the bun was probably grown from GMOs, the cheese is probably highly processed, the fries were frozen for weeks and the potatoes were grown using fertilizers and pesticides. This is not natural, pure, humble.

So much about American food is unnatural, the United States at this point could be called the Land of Unnatural and I don’t think anybody could argue with it.

Therefore what is American culture?

What do our production and consumption practices of food say about who we are?  Who are we as a collective and as individuals, consuming all this unnatural food as if it were the norm?

Many Americans know that our food is pumped full of preservatives, colorings, and additives, yet why is no one talking about it?  Why do we put these frankenstein foods into our body?

Are we indifferent? Are we a culture of not caring for our bodily selves?  Are we a culture so absorbed in our own lives that we pollute our bodies and the bodies of our loved ones with nasty food because it’s convenient?

What has food in America become?

What is the culture of America?

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