Tag Archives: saying hello

How to be depressed

These past couple weeks I’ve been feeling quite depressed for no specific reason at all. I’ve been irritable with friends and generally impossible to please.  As a result, I’ve decided to compile a list of a few things that will teach you how to be depressed and cranky just like me.

1.  Drink a bottle of wine to yourself and watch a heartbreaking romance movie.

Not only will the wine make you feel loopy and completely alone, the movie will make you cry and sob your heart out over the lost love, the high school sweetheart, or the imaginary boyfriend waiting outside your front door that never shows up. Guarantees a headache, puffy eyes, and malaise for the entirety of the following day.

2.  Quit every healthy regime you’ve worked hard to implement into your life.

Screw going to the gym three times a week.  And chose the hamburger over the salad.  Skip the vitamins, skip the fresh air for a strong cigarette.  Drink multiple kinds of liquor in an evening at the bar. Forget showering and brushing your teeth.  Bask in filthy clothes and beer breath. Don’t get out of bed for anything.

3.  Harbor resentment.

Let every little thing that annoys you fester inside until your blood is boiling and you’re imagining great insults to spew at the unlucky roommate who doesn’t rinse their dish.  Dig up old drama with a friend and insist on always being right.  Bitch about everything and everyone who isn’t perfect just like you.  Read old diaries to stir up anger from years ago.  Blame parents, friends, ex-boyfriends for your piss-poor mood.

4.  Look at everyone else’s pictures online and see how much fun they’re having and how happy everyone is but you.

Your ex has a beautiful new girlfriend and they’re getting engaged! Yay!  Your girl friend went to a party without you and obviously had such a great time.  That one friend has lost weight and is so cute in her pretty little dress.  I wanted to buy that dress but it didn’t fit me…

5.  Don’t make any effort whatsoever to cheer up or engage with humanity whatsoever.

Don’t go out. Don’t even go upstairs to fry an egg. Stay right there on the couch or the bed and eat those cheetos. Don’t shower or put on a cute shirt. Whatever you do, do not accept an invitation to grab beers at a once-favorite brewery. Don’t even answer your phone. Don’t look at movie times. Going to the movies is your favorite thing so don’t even consider it.

6.  Do not investigate your sadness or express your sadness in a healthy way.

Don’t write a poem, don’t paint, don’t journal, don’t dance, don’t exercise. Don’t call a friend for comfort.  Don’t express any angst effectively. Complain, whine, and bitch, please.

There you have it. This is a preliminary list of things to do/not do to continue being a bitchy little victim of the evil forces in the universe. Now wipe off that smile and start crying, dammit!

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Good Things This Morning

So today as been surprisingly awesome so far.  And I should mention that having a good day that starts first thing when I wake up is extraordinarily rare.  Usually I wake up late, have to take care of a hyper-active puppy whilst getting myself to look presentable before rushing out the door cursing with a granola bar in hand.

Today was a lovely exception and I thought I’d share just because there’s no one else is here besides the pup to brag to.

So for today I’ll mention some More Happiness .

Note: A couple of these things occurred last night. I usually don’t drink in the mornings, not heavily anyways.

Happiness is…

Weird, captivating dreams.

Two, perfectly fried over-easy eggs and perfectly toasted toast.

Bernard (my doggie) when he’s not being a whiner, beggar, or turd-burglar.

A white russian and intriguing romance flick with a good friend.

Friendly neighbors saying hello.

Gorey, cheesy horror movies.

My Honda when it’s NOT making painful noises.

Two surprise tickets to an AWESOME Halloween concert.

Plans for pumpkin carving.

Curtis Mayfield’s “Move On Up” while I apply mascara.

Good things happening in the morning.

Appreciation of those good things.

AND David Bowie, of course.

Dammit, I need to appreciate these good things more often.

This is how I usually feel in the morning

How I feel today.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I hope you’ve had a good morning too.  If it’s been a typical cruddy one, put on a record, read a poem, jump on the bed, or do all three! Have a good weekend folks.

 

 

 

 

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What happened to common decency?

This morning I missed the bus as usual.  This time is was different though, because a young man had missed it too.  Both of us panting and feeling annoyed, I offered him a lift to campus.  He seemed so shocked at my gesture, but to me it was logic.  If I’m driving to class anyways, why wouldn’t I give the kid a ride who had frustratingly made the same mistake as me?

The conversation during the ride was forced and awkward.  Questions like what’s your major and whatnot formed the basis.  I asked him why he had a cast on his right arm.  He asked me permission to drink a can of Mountain Dew.  I was helping the guy out, but it seemed like the last place he wanted to be was sitting in the passenger seat of my Honda.

After parking, he said goodbye, and I said that I’d see him around.  No smiles, no offer to help put money in the meter(that’s OK ’cause I was going to have to pay it anyway), was there even a “thank you”?

I felt like I had done the right thing, but it also felt so unfriendly, so impersonal.  Is giving a stranger a lift to class rather that weird?

I got to class feeling hot, tired, and hungry.  I sat next to a blonde girl wearing a tie-dye sweater, and as we make eye contact for a split second, I smile and give a nonchalant “good morning”.  The girl averts her gaze immediately, taken aback from my informal greeting, gives an uncomfortable moment of eye contact and looks away.  She practically turned her entire orientation in the opposite direction.

Why is decency so reviled?  Why is common courtesy so rare that when someone offers a kind gesture it freaks the other person out?

I felt like a leper.  What’s wrong with giving someone a ride to class?  Why is saying hello such a threat?

Stay away or I’ll bite you!

It’s no secret that our society is quite impersonal and often unfriendly. We ‘other’ each other and avoid situations where we might feel out of place. We avoid eye contact, avoid sitting too close to someone.  Avoid having our views challenged.  In an age of Facebook where our lives are on display for all to see, we lack intimacy more than ever.

We walk around campus with our headphones in, staring at our shoes and focusing on getting from A to B with the least amount of friction possible.  Sometimes I’m this person.  Avoiding everyone and everything because I’ve got a bone to pick with life at the time.

But more often than not I appreciate a greeting, I welcome the unexpected recognition that I exist.

We’re not all so separate, so foreign.  We’re a bunch of humans walking around on Earth.  Essentially, we’re all the same.  We all struggle, we all carry baggage, we’ve all had a screwed up life in some way or another.

Given this, why do we avoid each other so?  Why is it so hard to make a connection with another being?  Why is friendliness seen as a threat or intimidation rather than a gesture of good faith?

I think each of us, and society as a whole should question this.

Why are we so pissed off all the time?  Why is being kind the exception and not the norm?  What happened to common f***in’ decency?

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